Do you know that you talk to yourself all the time in your mind. If you are like most people, you tend to be critical about yourself in all aspects of your life. This continual self criticism in my mind affects your self-esteem and confidence negatively.
What you can do is to learn to talk to yourself as a best friend would in these situations. It’s not easy, but it can be learned by discipline and persistence. Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, stop it right away, and rephrase the criticism into a supportive encouragement to do better next time. With practice, you can re-frame your criticisms into more positive statements, and you will be able to minimize them and eventually eliminate them altogether.
Then you’ll be living the rest of your life with your best friend besides you all the time. Imagine that!
BEGIN WITH THE END RESULT IN MIND
Before you look forward to your end destination, you should consider your starting point. Right now, what is your current situation?. At what stage of life are you in. What are your current assets and strengths? What are your liabilities and weaknesses? Spend some time conducting an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses, assets and liabilities, and likes and dislikes. Determine what are your core values and priorities, and what are really important to you. Have a good handle on where you stand right now.
If you had your life to live over again what would you do differently. What do you think you could do about it? What is the biggest mistake you have made so far? What would you change? These are questions you can ask yourself when you want to reexamine yourself in terms of your life situation. Be fair and honest, as fair with yourself as you would be with somebody else. What is your purpose and goals in life? This is a fundamental question that most people ask themselves at one time or another. If you think I have the answer for you, you are wrong. You have the answer. We all have the answer within each one of us. For those of you who have not yet found your purpose in life, I can guide you in your search for it by beginning with the end result in mind.
To begin with the end result in mind means you need to have a clear and precise understanding of your destination. Find a quiet place where you can relax, be alone and uninterrupted when you are concentrating on the following exercise. You need a piece of paper to write your honest impressions, feelings and visualizations. Take your time to do this visualization exercise.
Exercise: Visualize yourself at your own funeral after a long, happy and fulfilled life. Assume that you have lived your life to your full potential. Your family, friends and colleagues have come to honour you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. Think deeply and write down the epitaphs and eulogies you would like each of the following speakers to say about you and your life:
1. Members of your immediate family: your spouse, children and siblings.
2. Your best friend.
3. A member of your profession you admire.
4. A member of your church and/or community you respect.
Try to imagine what these people would say about you in your various roles. What would you be remembered for? How did you touch and influence their lives? What contributions did you make to your family, friends, profession and community? Write down what you would like to be said of you at the end of your life.
You can repeat this exercise until you are pretty sure that you have identified your inner sources of identity such as your beliefs, values and primary characteristics. This visualization exercise will help you identify the core beliefs and values that are most important to you, for example: happiness, love, good health, honesty, peace of mind, spirituality, gratitude, simplicity, beauty, respect, integrity, joy, trust, understanding, fairness, hard work, recognition, professionalism, service to others and caring relationship. Aside from making you face your own mortality, this exercise guides you in discovering your roles and goals in life. It is necessary to reassess your different roles in life as time goes on in order to take into account your personal sense of balance and significant emotional events. Regular self-examination forms part of life’s journey and plays a major role in awareness, insight and wisdom. In my opinion, this visualization exercise is one of the most insightful and impactful tools that you can use to guide you to live a meaningful, purposeful and fulfilled life.
Excerpt from my book: Become your best.http://www.kintue-fee.com
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