Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; companionship, intimacy, friendship etc. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box. You must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage. Love is in people. And people put love in marriage. You have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty. – Anonymous
Why people get married? Most would answer because they are in love. Couples commit to their marriage vow based on feelings, emotions, physical and sexual attraction, pressures from parents and peers, modelling their parents, need for security, companionship, and many other reasons.
If you apply for a driver’s license, you need to take several tests to demonstrate your level of knowledge and practical competencies. Yet you can get your marriage license with simply a signature at the courthouse, city hall or anyplace you want to celebrate the event. Is there something wrong with our collective society’s standards and values. With no systematic education and coaching about how to behave in a marriage and what to expect in such a partnership, can we really be surprised with the resulting rate of failures and divorce. In the Western countries, approximately one in two marriages ends up in divorce.
So what can we do about this sad situation? There is no simple “formula” to a perfect marriage. In order to make your marriage last and thrive, you need to ensure that mutual respect, honesty, trust and love are always present in your partnership. You have made a vow to support and love her in good and bad times. So practice your lifetime vows every day. Express grace and forgiveness after a heated argument and dispute. Reaffirm your love, and praise your mate’s strengths. Use words of affirmation to describe your mate to others. The more you and your partner focus on positive and successful common goals and grounds that you have achieved in your partnership so far, the more likely you’ll be happy in your relationship.
So how can you protect your marriage and shield it against the risk of divorce? It’s very important to understand the needs and wants of your partner. Most people have the same basic needs to be valued, respected and loved. For most women, they need to be listened to, cared for, and made to feel attractive and wanted. For most men, they need to feel that they are the leader of the household, and the provider and protector of the family. Obviously, they need the full support of their mate to assume this role. In order to understand and know the specific needs and wants of your partner in life, you have to ask him or her. There is no other way. Therefore, open and honest communication is essential. Poor communication leads to unhappy couples more than almost anything else.
Marriage is give and take partnership. You need to forgive stupid stuffs and ignore the little things that sometimes drive you up the wall. Work together to build a life and teach the children you bring into the world. Most of all, no matter how long you have been together as a couple, don’t let a day go by without doing a little something for your partner; a touch, a smile, a kiss, a gift or a chore. Let the other know your appreciation sand gratitude, and always respect each other. Many people think marriage means you belong to each other. The truth is marriage is a true partnership, and you have to work hard to keep it so.
What are some examples of the ways you keep your marriage thriving and loving?